i am, i am not

Visual by: Jessica Martinez

i am not the drowning voices

that attempt to torment

my every move and

breath;

i am not

a fragment

of your imagination.

i am not

a rock

on the pavement

or a pebble on a cliff –

not the distraught

representation of womanhood

with scattered

goals and dreams and aspirations; 

not the woman 

with a loss of identity

when you fail

to push

your way into

my veins 

and mind 

and being.

i am not

reliant

on your existence

or influence; 

i am not living 

for the harsh whispers 

(or should i say yells?)

that attempt

to enchain 

my spirit.

i am not the corrupt 

representation of 

innocence

upheld with a tainted image

of perfection 

and enamored 

like the virgin mary. 

i am not enslaved

to the bitterness

and cruelty

that resides 

at the tip of your tongue

and i am not to retreat 

to the shadows

and succumb to your power. 

i am not the virgin mary, 

or did you forget?

i am kindness and warmth

but also rage and passion; 

warm fires slowly grow within me,

creating an identity 

that is forceful and

everchanging

like the trade winds,

but also holding a gentle touch; 

soft and comforting 

like that of the sun 

warming and giving life

to the earth.

i am not

i am 

i am not

i am