Yo, Affirmative Action Bake Sale! How much for a mutt like me?

Above is a price list for a recent Affirmative Action Bake sale. Clever. Very clever, or so you thought. I take a few issues up with you cookie sellers: What would you charge a mutt like me? Would I get a 40% increase because I’m about 1/4 Caucasian? Or would I pay a combination of the Caucasian and Latino prices? What if I brought a few of my friends, would I get a Friends of Color super discount?  I’m curious that if you truly wanted to be original you would’ve thought of expanding on the idea that you ripped off from another school (or two, as a matter of fact) and added a more colorful array of payments. Would you offer a special “America Unlawfully Stole My Land and All I Got Was This Stupid Cookie?” Maybe you should’ve included a portion that said “We Accept EBT” if you wanted to also target those who are socioeconomically disadvantaged, which is also a part of the UC admittance process. If so, I think you might want to adjust those prices because a high number of Caucasians receive welfare—higher than that of Latinos and Asians. Possibly a “Free Cookie to any Orphan or Victim of Abuse,” being that a personal struggle and story also played a part in the process.

If you were going to go out of your way to offend and attempt to facilitate conversation about the issues at hand with the UC Admittance process you might want to do some research and really facilitate a constructive debate on all the issues at hand. Don’t simply focus your attention on the easiest subject in the book: Race. Get over it; it’s getting a little played out at this point. Guaranteed you won’t hesitate to cheer for all the athletes of color though. Newsflash! Affirmative action affects them too. Maybe instead of trying to polarize the issue in such a way that makes you all appear as though you may be bordering on bigotry, you might want to pick up a book or get on a computer and do some research.

Your argument and frustrations are not with other students but with the Supreme Court who ruled on this many a moons ago. You think they’d like some cookies?

-Savannah Smith